Autumn days

Now that we are in our second autumn I am struck by how  our routine, such as it is, has developed around integrating learning into daily activities and seeking out calm.  Autumn comes on so noticeably it almost requires a change of tempo and as the season changes our days are settling into a nice rhythm.  As part of ‘Operation Oscar’ (where we attempt to do what we should have done 6 months ago and train our huge puppy) we are walking more.  Oscar, Jake and I take the younger children to school and park the car in the village.  We then trek back down the ancient footpath over the bridge and up the other side of the river.  Oscar eats the blackberries, chases squirrels and learns to walk on a lead without dragging me over and Jake and I stomp along in the mud and play spelling and times table games (with guess the animal, at which he is expert, as a reward) I am determined to make this a whatever-the-weather part of our day and have been waxing and waterproofing our coats and hats accordingly. It makes us feel wonderfully virtuous and by the time we get back we are ready for second breakfast.  Home days are then made up of comprehension, reading voraciously, writing (what a struggle that is) learning to touch type (because of the writing issue) and increasingly, art work.  We really don’t do enough of that, mostly because Jake hates it.  I am well aware that it would be a great help for his writing skills and so our autumn days are going to be messy ones.  There is such a temptation to skirt around the things that create conflict and I am as guilty as the next pacifist- luckily we only have two home days or we’d get nothing done! We then tromp back to the car and fetch the others at the end of their school day.

In addition, we have a Peter day when our wonderfully calm and creative helper comes in to save my sanity and give Jake a break from me, we have a home ed group day where we go on trips and play and we have a Forest School day where Jake is learning to manage group activities.  With some success.  Sometimes.

Our new activity, mini rugby, is not proving easy for him but he can tackle fearlessly and is little enough to be nippy. He isn’t a popular member of the team, due to his inability to throw and catch I guess, but things have only come to blows once. I think we will bank that as a partial success. The others love it so Jake will just have to fit in around them on this occasion.

We have moved our school room downstairs where it is warmer and as the house fills with plasterers, plumbers and builders over the next few weeks we will work on making sure that we know how to find calm in the rhythm of our autumn days whatever is going on around us and that, it turns out, is what this is all about.

 

 

 

The art of socialising, guess work and gum shields

One of our biggest concerns about keeping Jake in the bubble that we have built here at Treguddick is that he doesn’t have the same access to his peers that other children do.  We don’t know if that is a good thing or not.  The fact that something  is, slowly, working for him in that he has long stretches of his week where he is calm and quiet and productive may indicate that something is working but we don’t really know what.  We slot in with after school games and social arrangements made for the other two a couple of times a week and we are going to add a more formal day at Forest School this term – without me this time.  We have a session a week with the local home ed group and we have added mini rugby recently which has got off to a shaky start but hasn’t failed yet. He comes to parks and parties with us, of course. The problem is that every social event that Jake attends requires some artistry, a preparation, a watchfulness that isn’t necessary for the other children.  Each one also requires us to be a little bit brave, both on his behalf and on ours.  We are all judged, to a degree, by the company we keep and our children’s behaviour.  We see people’s faces close, their arms fold and their feet tap far more often than we see them smile and step forward and we need to learn how to incorporate both reactions into our family’s experience of the world.   Both reactions to his behaviour are valid and both understandable – they are both true at the same time.  Such is the conundrum of complex childhood behaviour. Such is the reality for Jake and we have no clear idea how to prepare him to face the world and its social intricacies without us. Its all guess work.

 

Gum shield moulding

Foetal Alcohol Awareness Day

Today, being the ninth day of the ninth month (get it?) is FAS awareness day.  Well, it is amongst people who are already aware of it. Significant percentages of the rest of the population believe that it either doesn’t exist or doesn’t apply to them, especially here in the UK.  It does of course (both exist and apply) as more and more affected children enter our systems.  Those systems are overwhelmingly those that identify and support children at risk and in need and those that seek to educate.  The 60,000 children in care are significantly at risk (see new research out today that carries on saying the same thing and is still not heard) but at least we know, or should know, to at least suspect that.  The many thousands of children who are not in the care system but struggling with FASD at school stand very little chance indeed of being properly diagnosed and therefore supported.

 

As I write Jake is at that part of the day where I require him to sit at a table and do some written work.  Call it school if you like.  He has thrown books and pens, screamed, cried and attempted to run away. He is easily capable of the work and is easily brought back on task.  Luckily there is no-one else within miles to be distracted and I can pick and choose what I feel I should react to.  He has had no feedback at all for his “bad” behaviour and a bacon sandwich for finishing. Imagine if he were in school…

 

 

Shanah Tovah

The little two went back to school today very happily indeed, Toby was really excited to discover he is now in year 2 (how had that escaped him?!) This marks the beginning of the second full year that Jake has been out of school.  We have learned so much about him, and each other, during that year. We have developed a peculiar multiple track teaching strategy that provides him with information about the same subject on very many levels at the same time.  It sounds chaotic but it works well (an insight into how his mind works)

So, for example, we are measuring up the bathrooms for underfloor heating today.  I wanted to take that opportunity to teach him how to measure area (working towards the concept of squared numbers) but I know that he needs reminding how to measure a straight line as well.  We address both needs simultaneously and he takes both sets of information in.  Just because someone can’t measure a straight line does not mean they can’t understand how to measure area. We are also forging ahead with different ways of recording time, and adding time, while reminding ourselves what each hand is for. We are going to be able to add fractions at about the same time as we understand what one is etc. etc.

On fractions, since our time in America I have adopted the ‘cups’ measuring system (because I am such a slap dash cook it suits me not to be weighing) which lends itself splendidly to fractions.  Today being Rosh Hashanah we made Challah and needed to measure thirds and quarters of cups.  Today being Rosh Hashanah we also were able to ask ourselves those wonderful questions so loved by Jews, where are we, how did we get here and where are we going.  Just perfect for the start of new school year and a new phase.  My list of goals for the next year is so much more real than my list for last year and I am enjoying that as much as I enjoyed the excitement of being in our tent last Rosh Hashanah. Quite old testament really.

 

Making Challah

 

Shanah Tovah!

Walking on the wild side

We had a great day at Tippetts Fun Day locally.  Marks Ark animal entertainer found that he had met his match – Jake’s recent specialist subject is reptiles and birds of prey. I guess his fairly relentless sharing of his undoubted knowledge may have been slightly off putting to anyone else who was there but I really enjoyed seeing him so engaged (and sitting still while he was talking – GREAT progress) and was really proud of him.  Does it matter that the ordinary world isn’t quite ready for him yet?  I don’t think so.

Next term we are going to try a day a week at Forest School, without me.  I really hope that by banking a year of home education Jake has more resources and that he will be able to integrate into that small and supportive group in an ordinary way, without needing one to one or specialist intervention. Watch this space.  I think it is more likely that he will succeed there than at mini-rugby which is where he says he wants to go.  We have, of course, bought the boots and signed him up but I don’t have a good feeling about that. However, having a surprising child means you must be ready to be really, truly surprised…